On being a Working Mum...

Today I am missing out on my son's last day of nursery school. It's making me feel tearful and sad...I can't concentrate on anything and I feel like a piece of my heart is missing.

My sweet, sweet little Sonic The Hedgehog obsessed boy.

It's super hard to know whether you are doing the right thing being a Working Mum. The reason I work is purely financial, I don't believe the living off benefits offers a very admirable lifestyle. Our oven has been broken for a year now and we haven't replaced it. The issue here is, being on benefits doesn't afford you the option to buy a £200 oven one week. In fact, £200 is more than you get for two weeks. People who say that those on benefits are living a life of free luxury are mistaken.

dream oven *sigh*

I want my child to have a nice life with nice things. I don't want to live in a council flat without door handles on my doors for the rest of my life. So therefore, I have to work. These things are not MORE important than time with my son, but they are things that make my son's time better.

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I guess this all sounds a little like my priorities aren't right.  Maybe I should be happy and poor instead of stretched and...well...I'm actually still poor. I know I am missing out on a number of things that I really believe he will remember I wasn't there for. Sports Day. A Teddy Bears Picnic. Immunisations. But the thing for me is that being a Mum doesn't define every single little cell in my body. I am still person with needs and wants and ambitions. Being a Mum doesn't mean that I no longer have those feelings. It just means I have to compromise. So, I can't go travelling, but I can take a beach holiday with my little guy and watch him playing in the sand and be proud that I am have paid for it myself. I can't run away with the circus but I can take him to the Steam Fair this weekend and he his face light up when he spies the huge carousel.

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Money isn't the most important this in the world. It's certainly not more important than the moments I have with Ramsey having fun and hearing him laugh. But on days like to day I kind of feel a little bit more torn over my priorities than usual. I feel like I am missing out, when all I want is for my son NOT to miss out.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on being a working mummy x