Welcome to 2017.
This is the year that I want to start fulfilling my dreams. I've spent quite a few years floating along, now, the time has come for me to create a life that I love. Whilst using that phrases jars with me just slightly since Zoella started using a similar one - it's still something I can aspire to. Also, I don't hate Zoella.
This year I want to blog better, work harder and earn more. I want to be a better mother, a better girlfriend and a better friend. I want to love my life, my career and myself harder and I want to strive to live a more positive existence but there's one goal, one aspiration in particular that has been the focus of my thoughts for the past few weeks. Like many people, I fail at resolutions. I can go back over old diaries, paper and digital, and tell you a hundred resolutions that I have made throughout my life that I never kept,and probably quite a lot that I ended up doing the exact opposite of.
A lot of people scoff at setting goals and aspirations at New Year. Oh, "it's just another day" and "what's the point I've never kept them". But I see the New Year, despite definitely being 'just another day' where things go wrong, as a chance to look at what I am not achieving that I definitely want to - and there aren't a huge number of other days in the year that I bother to sit down and mull over that.
I spend a lot of time rushing from one thing to another. Rush to get my son to school before the only bus that won't make me late for work sails past. Rush from the bus stop to the train station because there is only a few minutes connection time. Rush from the station to work because there's only just enough tim to run there and not be late. I rush through the morning trying to get everything down and I rush around at lunchtime because I have a 20 mins period to do things like, eat, go to the bank, take a top back, go to the post office. I rush through the afternoon willing the day to end so I can go home and then I rush to the school to pick Ramsey up before the 6pm deadline. We then rush to the shops and home before I collapse and I make dinner as quickly as I can because bedtime is approaching then we rush through a bath...
You get the idea.Life is a rush. All through these days (eat sleep repeat), I'm willing the time to hurry up so I'm one day closer to the weekend and at the weekend, I rush from eating to meeting to cleaning always thinking of the next thing I need to get done.
I found myself saying a few times after the holidays ended this week - it just rushed past. One minute I was drinking Prosecco at work and the next minute I was back at work opening my brand new desk diary you know? There didn't seem to have been a moment of time that took the duration that it should have. I freaked myself out a bit, is time speeding up? Am I going to wake up tomorrow and I'll be 78 and my life will have gone in a flash? I still think the answer to that question is yes, but now, I have a plan.
I am going to recognise each moment that happens.
It's a big one, I know. It's also impossible because who could do that? Every second? No-one. Maybe some mindfulness supremo that lives every second with intent or whatever, that isn't me. But if I set the goal to try and be in the moment as much as possible, perhaps the terrifying rush of life will at least seem to be going just a little slower and I can try and revel in the existence that I have.
When I was younger time seemed to pass incredibly slowly. I would lay awake at night sometimes and not be able to sleep and the time would seem to be taking eons to slip past. I've sat in bad jobs before and looked at the clock, only to look four hours later and see that just five minutes have passed. That doesn't happen anymore. Maybe because I really love my current job and there isn't enough hours in the day to do everything that I want to achieve with it, maybe because I'm older.
I've rambled a little here, but I don't really mind and I hope you don't either. I really love looking at at my New Year posts and seeing whether or not I have fulfilled my goals for the year - back in 2012 I wrote a list of goals that I wanted to achieve and it's been a real benchmark in how I feel my adult life is going, even though they are all pretty silly. You can read the full post linked here. I hope I can look back at this in the same way towards the end of year and have some input into whether I was able to put more of a focus on appreciating the moments of my life.
Blogwise, I want to ramp things up. I'll be posting more regular content giving insights into how Influences are making money and developing a whole industry under the umbrella of marketing, I'll be sharing behind-the-scenes look at some of the marketing projects that I'm working on with some major e-commerce and high street beauty and fashion brands, and I'll be looking to share plenty of gig and festival reviews and info. Happy 2017!!
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