Thursday, 19 July 2012

On being a Working Mum...

Today I am missing out on my son's last day of nursery school. It's making me feel tearful and sad...I can't concentrate on anything and I feel like a piece of my heart is missing.

My sweet, sweet little Sonic The Hedgehog obsessed boy.

It's super hard to know whether you are doing the right thing being a Working Mum. The reason I work is purely financial, I don't believe the living off benefits offers a very admirable lifestyle. Our oven has been broken for a year now and we haven't replaced it. The issue here is, being on benefits doesn't afford you the option to buy a £200 oven one week. In fact, £200 is more than you get for two weeks. People who say that those on benefits are living a life of free luxury are mistaken.




I want my child to have a nice life with nice things. I don't want to live in a council flat without door handles on my doors for the rest of my life. So therefore, I have to work. These things are not MORE important than time with my son, but they are things that make my son's time better.



I guess this all sounds a little like my priorities aren't right.  Maybe I should be happy and poor instead of stretched and...well...I'm actually still poor. I know I am missing out on a number of things that I really believe he will remember I wasn't there for. Sports Day. A Teddy Bears Picnic. Immunisations. But the thing for me is that being a Mum doesn't define every single little cell in my body. I am still person with needs and wants and ambitions. Being a Mum doesn't mean that I no longer have those feelings. It just means I have to compromise. So, I can't go travelling, but I can take a beach holiday with my little guy and watch him playing in the sand and be proud that I am have paid for it myself. I can't run away with the circus but I can take him to the Steam Fair this weekend and he his face light up when he spies the huge carousel.

source

Money isn't the most important this in the world. It's certainly not more important than the moments I have with Ramsey having fun and hearing him laugh. But on days like to day I kind of feel a little bit more torn over my priorities than usual. I feel like I am missing out, when all I want is for my son NOT to miss out.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on being a working mummy x

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